Kaleidoscope - Thorns and Scent

Two years has passed by, still I remain the same like I used to do before. Maybe there's some changes physically and emotionally but damnt I didn't noticed any of them. I was partly unsure with those changes as time never tells exactly what are those. I really don't have any idea what to say right now for this entry. But one thing should be written and that's my improvement in developing my personality.

If you could just imagine I was been shifting different jobs in just a year. I guess I'm guilty for being a job hoppers. Yes, you heard it.  I think it's part of growing up wherein you wanna find your self acting in different jobs, just to search who you really are. I could say I'm about to find my existence, 50 percent still missing. Though the process was undeniably tiring but fortunate as I taste the tears and happiness of life awaits for me. I've been to turn up side down last years till this very moment. But still holding firmly on that Hope that someday, somewhere I'm gonna find my self. I know you kinda thinking that I'm just roaming around like a kid in town, a dog without an owner, a sheep without a leader. And Yes, you are partially right but logically wrong. I admit I'm on the plain of psychopathic tendency while writing this new entry. I'm proud of it but not loud like the others. It's just a medium to express my emotions and what runs to my dare minds. 

Let's get back to where should this blog goes, Last year while I was about to prepare my pre-employment requirements specifically the medical examination, the doctor got a hint that I might be a poz due to low lymphocytes I got, it's almost below the normal range. She keep on asking me what I've been doing lately and if I have taking any vitamins or drugs. Of course no one have courage to just disclose your status to just any doctors out there unless she's my ID Doctor. I just faced questions through a mere lie to cover up her inquiries and face it with a big smile to show discreetness. I'm glad everything runs fine and she gave me a permit to work for shippingline. And good to go with luck. After a month of working at the port, I find it so stressful, there's always over-time, labor force and reaching your goal -.KPI while I'm exposing my self to hazardous raw materials while working with so clever workmate and careless other. Life at the port is like fighting in a big arena where the most strongest and wisest win without considering what would other felt with their cruel actions. So there I keep in touch with my HR-Manager to disclose their rotten routine while we were on the operation. Honestly, I don't care what they've doing while at work however, it greatly affect the performance of the operation and sometimes, we were scolded for not paying attention to some areas of concern. After of being in troublesome job work, I passed my resignation letter directly to put an end to this rude work and get my pay out. Honestly, until I missed my supervisor because He's very nice and accommodating to me. Sometimes, He won't allow me to be stressed out from work and gave me enough time to have a snap during operation. Just like me, He's also a vocalist before in their band and I admire him for becoming a music lover. Finding a perfect workmate with same passion and same dedication at work is a great feeling anyhow. I missed him so much though after I'm out from work, He still keep in touch with me during that time but now, we lost contact as my phone got busted.

Days and months passed by, I decided to come back on job search and got luck after 3 months, I got hired as an Accounting Staff. It's still puzzled me why that company hired me for that position though in fact I was applying for a logistics position. But it doesn't matter to me that time as I just wanted to spend my time working to aid my boredsome staying at the house. I know it would be a chance to allocate my time at work and add up this position to my future resume making. Since I was assigned at Accounting Department, I really don't have any idea what to do as I didn't imagine my self managing finances, computing, expenses, budgeting, planning for expenses, writing that ledgers and so forth. It took me a week to adapt their system and managing the flow of work. I heard a lot of criticism and bad suggestion but I keep my mind and ears focused on work. However, there were instances I've been face with ridiculous comments and my ego and pride were taken into challenge but I keep my mouth close until my shift ends. Every after work, I just went directly to nearby store to bought beers and beverage to poured out my stresses physically and emotionally. I know it wasn't an healthy way to adapt such stressor but that's the quickest to relieve my self and gained courage to work again. Unfortunately, there some circumstances where you are fully occupied of stress and you have no other way to be relieve but to quit as it was in fact not really your thing. That's the saddest, losing hope to hold on. Yes, I resigned again for the second time around in just a month.

There's lot of unfold stories to come but I guess I'm totally exhausted to continue the stories. Thanks to the "EDIT" mechanism I could get back to where I started here. I'm happy and we all should be.

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